Charon crossing Styx to get T. might as well be named fear of death.
We never talk about how it will be like to die, do we? It´s something that hardly ever is brought up in a conversation, even tough I am sure we all think about it sometimes, especially when loosing someone we love.
What trigged the making of this picture was a sudden, overwhelming memory of the death of my friend T, almost 30 years ago. He died standing up, held by his brother and his cousin, in front of an open window as he was gasping for more fresh air. He last words were: «No, I am not coming!». And to his wife: «Hide, hide with the children!»
It makes me so sad that his last experience here on earth was that of great fear. He was on heavy painkillers, so maybe his vision of something scary out there coming to get him, could be explained by the drugs. I don’t know.
Less than three months earlier he had been diagnosed with cancer.
T. didn´t want to die. Of, course – he was only 46 years old!
Far too young to leave this life.
When someone close to you get a terrible, deadly diagnosis, the world turns into a spin where nothing feels real or true. Still, you have to keep some touch with the practicalities of reality. «Who can drive auntie to the hospital?» «What are we doing with the kids?» «Oh, my God, the shops closes in halv an hour – we have no milk or bread and tomorrow everything is closed!»
The despair: A desperate search for a miracle cure.
The disbelief.
The hope. If only he takes one step back…
The night before T. left us, I woke up with a sensational feeling of peace. It could best be described as floating in water, in the darkness. Maybe like it is in the womb? My first instinct said: This is how it feels like to be dead. I believe my unconsciousness somehow tried to comfort me:
Don’t worry, he will have peace and be comfortable in afterlife.
All cultures have different, but more or less similar perceptions of what happens when we die. Basically it´s going to hell or to heaven.
I have used Greek mythology in this narrative picture:
Charon crossing the river Styx, to transport T.s soul from the land of the living to Hades. A bleak place, where the tree-headed dog Cerberus is protecting the gate, making sure no one escapes.
However, Hades is not the final stop. The good guys go to the Elysian Fields, while the bad guys end up in Tartarus. (Sounds familiar, no?)
For us humans, it has always been necessary to create an image of afterlife that makes sense.
Of course, it is a comfort that the bad guys, who never were punished while living, get their punishment in death. It also gives us a reason to behave decently while living. Be nice, or go to hell!
And with a gatekeeper as Cerberus, who makes sure no one escapes Hades, there is a perfect explanation for why your beloved daughter, grandpa or best friend – whom you feel you can’t live without – can not return, even if they wanted to.
